Wellness to me is a lot more than simply looking at health. It is a whole lifestyle based around balance and keeping our body, mind and soul ‘well’. On my health and wellness journey facing so many health adversities and essentially living with invisible disability, I have come to associate health with more the medical and scientific approaches. And wellness as more of the natural holistic approaches. Wellness is about positive Life Balance and Health is about our body.
Wellness to me is a lot more than simply looking at health. It is a whole lifestyle based around balance and keeping our body, mind and soul ‘well’. On my health and wellness journey facing so many health adversities and essentially living with invisible disability, I have come to associate health with more the medical and scientific approaches. And wellness as more of the natural holistic approaches. Wellness is about positive life balance and health is about our body.
In my 30’s after living with a lot of mysterious ongoing pain, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia dating back to the age of 15. I was so excited to have a diagnoses as I thought ‘great I can now find a cure’. Nope. I was told there’s nothing much I can do, try to exercise (when I was in so much pain I could barely get out of bed) that it’s a life sentence, I can try dietary changes, but essentially it is my body telling me I’m in more pain than I am actually in. It is fake pain. That is what I was told. What was I meant to do with that exactly?
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Unable to get up and have a shower. Unable to meet up with friends. Unable to go for a walk along the beach. Unable to cook a proper meal. Unable to participate in life fully. Feeling hopeless. Chastising myself for being lazy. Getting out of bed then getting straight back in again. Having to rest after having a shower. Heartbreak over lost connections and not showing up. Feeling separate from the world. True heartache and loneliness. Wondering how my vivacious personality and amazing life have ended up here.
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There is no joy in chronic migraine. The pain is beyond what humans should have to bare on a regular basis. Everything goes black. Except for the smallest piece of light or noise that is like lightning piercing the black with more overwhelming searing pain. This pain is too great for me to ‘go into’ to try and heal in the moment. It takes everything from me in the immediate and renders me completely useless.
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Living with invisible illness is very isolating. For me it turned me from a vivacious, energetic, vibrant, highly social and active person. To a homebody, with a rather stagnant lifestyle, no energy and introverted. I have found a new life reality that was initially very hard to adjust to. Not unlike the experience many people felt going into lockdown during a pandemic. From shock and disbelief to slowly understanding this is a new reality and not knowing how long it will last, to accepting the change and learning to find the good in the present moment.
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The lowest points in my life have been when I have felt defeated by chronic pain. Sometimes these have been moments. Other times they have been weeks even months of depression with only fleeting moments of happiness. Feeling depressed due to chronic pain is a weird body dynamic for me. I am not a depressed person. But when the pain is relentless then surrender leads to feelings of hopelessness and the depression kicks in until the pain subsides.
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I had an eating disorder at age 14 – 15. I am a survivor of bulimia. At the time I felt out of control. I had no outlet. I had no one to speak to. I was putting myself under immense pressure to do well at school so I could escape a reality my parents had designed for their lives, but it wasn’t for me. The school I went to was small and not a good academic school and I felt all odds were against me. And I was right about this but I was never listened to. I had no tools in my emotional toolbox about how to handle this.
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I believe as humans on earth at this time, for many of us our journey is about healing. More than ever we have amazing knowledge through science, amazing medical tools and techniques, amazing doctors and health practitioners … yet we are as a race seemingly sicker than ever. Life is prolonged more than ever before but at what cost? Quality of life and living with illnesses seem to be an epidemic whether these are physical, emotional or mental and everything else in between. We seem to be living in a fake freedom to do with our wellness.
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If you would like to speak to Zoë about any of these things she has a limited paid online consultation schedule that can be tailored to your specific needs or areas of interest:
‘At this stage I believe in personal connections over online courses, so I offer my time, my intuition, my business expertise . . . well I offer a personal consultation with me that can be whatever you like. From an informal chat to connecting regarding health challenges, a mentoring session by someone who understands, or intuitive counselling and more. My hope is that whatever you need can be covered in this session to help empower you onto your next steps in life, whatever they may be.'