Loneliness
You are not my friend
You are a mirage of Isolation
Leaving emptiness in your wake
You turn weeks and months
Of less than desired social interactions
Into what seems like years
Walking in a desert of sand
You turn peoples excuses of busy-ness
Into a perceived lack of care or loyalty
It’s hard to see peoples light
When you only feel the loss
The loss of quality time and conversations
The inability to really open ones heart
The need for vulnerability
The silence of friends and family not here
The lack of connection
Is sending a text message love…
Or the guilt of avoidance?
Is a phonecall an imposition…
Or a heart to heart over time and space?
A hug is like a diamond
Hard to find and often unattainable
Like waiting for a commitment
It’s simply a promise, not a reality
A moment feels like days
A week feels like years
A month feels like an eternity
Any expectation feels like neediness
The lies loneliness tells you
That nobody cares
That your complexities are too large
Are an emotional hoax
Knowing you are loved
Is very different to being loved in the moment
Loneliness robs us
Of moments with love
Moments of connection are fleeting
Loneliness is an abyss
A lifetime sentence
Of not enough touch
Socialising becomes like sugar
A big momentary high
With a huge crash
To follow
The emptiness is overwhelming
What is life
without hugs
Without deep and meaningful conversations
Feeling like a burden to others
Is a trick you play
Leaving the feeling
That others are simply being polite
Loneliness is a choice
Sometimes
When the pull of the dramatic
Becomes a push into isolation
The promise of the ease of life
Moulds our choices
Until we become
The only solitary choice
A life without love
Of the continuous expression
Is a lonely existence
A mirror with no reflection
As you continue to trick me
I hide even more
The feeling of rejection
Being just too much to bare
Loneliness you are not my friend
You are just a big hollow
I will keep moving forward
And hope you don’t follow